Well, I am getting ready to wrap up my time volunteering here on the coffee farm.  I am getting very excited to be back in RI, at least for a couple of months.  For those of you who don’t know yet, I am coming back to RI the end of this month and will be moving to Maine at the beginning of January.   Always big changes, big changes!  I will certainly be able to share more about that to come, but for now I wanted to pass this link on to you all.  My roommate Jennifer is incredibly passionate about coffee and has been volunteering at various coffee farms around the world in order to get more understanding from the bean to the cup.  She’s started this coffee channel (Behind the Beans on You Tube.  I would love it if you guys check her out and support her efforts.  Not only will it give you a better education behind the scenes of your beans, but it will also give you a better understanding of what the heck I’ve been doing for the past five weeks working on a coffee farm!

PS

Congratulations to Lisa and Shawn!  Wish I was there to celebrate with you!

O SOLITUDE! if I must with thee dwell,
Let it not be among the jumbled heap
Of murky buildings; climb with me the steep,-
Nature’s observatory – whence the dell,
Its flowery slopes, its river’s crystal swell,
May seem a span; let me thy vigils keep
’Mongst boughs pavillion’d, where the deer’s swift leap
Startles the wild bee from the fox-glove bell.
But though I’ll gladly trace these scenes with thee,
Yet the sweet converse of an innocent mind,
Whose words are images of thoughts refin’d,
Is my soul’s pleasure; and it sure must be
Almost the highest bliss of human-kind,
When to thy haunts two kindred spirits flee.

Anyway, I’m drifting.  Today, the first day of Autumn, I celebrate change.  I welcome the newness of the new season.  I embrace the future, preparing, harvesting, storing, to fill me in seasons to come.  I like the quite, thoughtfulness encouraged by mountain stillness.  I really feel this time has been a season of solitude, reflection.  I’m sure there’s a purpose for it…. it hasn’t all been easy, that’s for sure.  But, like the leaves that are changing color in New England, we all go through periods when we stop feeding on what everyone feeds on, when we rely on our own strength, our own beauty, our own true colors.  Ultimately, for the leaves, this means shriveling up and dying…. falling one by one…. blowing in the wind…. returning to the soil where it came from.  Dying to go on living… a stunning cycle.  This is the season of unique color.  This is the season of extravagant beauty.  I’m going to store enough up to last me the whole winter through!  I’m going to swim in the fruits of my labor.  I’m going to sing of the battering rain.  I’m going to call out to the streaming sun.

This, the first day of Autumn, we all change.  We all put on our robes of color, even for the briefest of  country drives.  Today we celebrate. Today we embrace newness.  Today we prepare for the coming winter.

Now, I’m going to go and open my new toothbrush.  Go do something special today!

To the season of mist and mellow fruitfulness….I love John Keats!

Given the nature of my life right now, I’ve had to meet and “acquaint,” or introduce myself a number of times.  Any time you invite the pleasure of adding someone to your world, you need to also add yourself to theirs.  Reinvention is an addictive behavior for some.  I suppose many “drifters” are people who long for the chance to reinvent themselves over and over, becoming smarter, stronger, and more successful along the way, as they rub off anything they dislike about themselves from the past.  It’s attractive to reinvent yourself, to start over, to clean the slate.  Gently shifting your personality, maybe your background, offers a remarkable opportunity to get a new “chance,” to be someone you’ve always wanted to be, or maybe just to try something different. I don’t think I ever intentionally reinvent myself when I meet new people, that’s not to say the thought isn’t somewhat alluring…. imagine coming up with a completely fabricated background for a few minutes during a chance encounter, never to see the person again.  Maybe it’s the fiction-lover in me, but I think creating a story sounds fun.  Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll ever have the guts to go through with it.  If anyone wants to try it sometime, I may be inclined to do it with a partner. My only degree of reinvention comes when I’m not one of ‘the twins” any longer.  I’ve gotten so used to being Heather’s sister, that when no one knows “Heather and Tracy”, when they just know Tracy, it’s strange.  Maybe that’s why I talk about her so much. 

Settling into my second day at the farm has gotten me thinking about meeting new people.  So far, everyone here has been incredibly gracious, the husband and wife who own the farm I’m staying on, the other WWOOF volunteer rooming with me, their extended family, the neighbors, and the other workers on the farm.  Obviously, much of our conversation is about introducing ourselves, getting to know one another, getting to know the community, welcoming us.  I find this experience, the third different community I’ve lived in the last two and a half months, causing me to once again tell the story of Tracy.  It just so happens that a beautiful, quiet, farm in the mountains of Puerto Rico is a great place to do it.

My roommate, Jennifer, and I began my coffee farming experience together on Wednesday.  Starting about 7:00 in the morning until about 12:30 in the afternoon, we picked coffee beans.  (Don’t worry I’m going to fill you in about the actual farm and what goes into making amazing coffee, but for now, maybe it’s the sound of the rain falling by my window, maybe it’s the “cookee” call of the frogs in distance, maybe it’s the warmth from the coffee in my mug, as I’m snuggled up in my bed, but I’m feeling contemplative right now.)  One thing you’ve probably figured out, picking coffee beans is not the most exciting job to do.  Except for the occasional high-flying-action-chase of a bean just not ready to be put into the basket, it’s very monotonous.  Monotony when you’re alone leads to self-reflection; monotony when you’re with a brand new person, a very friendly one at that, leads to introduction.  We got the chance to tell our stories, where we’ve been, where we want to go.

Each time I think about my life, I usually feel submerged by question marks.  What am I doing?  Where am I going?  Who’s coming with me?  Why? Why? Why?  But actually telling your own story to someone new, kind of helps remind you of the structure, the bones, that really do hold you together.  You’re not a jumbled, shapeless, mass of mess on the floor, but an interesting arrangement of likes, dislikes, passions, desires.  There really is form in my life, contrary to the disarray and over-packed suitcases. There is composition, arrangement.  It may look more like an abstract painting right now rather than a still-life, but it’s there none the less.

Much like this blog entry, sometimes I feel like my life is a rambling walk, no clear finish line, no landmarks, and maybe, compared to some other’s who neatly fit into our culture’s “life-mile-markers,” it is.  But one thing I’ve discovered on this trip is that I like my life…. I like my story….. I like introducing myself to others….. I like learning about me.  Maybe it’s strange, at thirty-three (ugh!), to finally, truly, like yourself, but I think the  actual joy comes when you do it with awareness, celebrate it, embrace it.  I like the person I am, I like meeting new people.  It really does give me “much pleasure” to invite them to peak at my insides, as I get a glimpse of theirs.  That gift is one thing that makes this trip, or life for that matter, beautiful.  My suggestion to you, faithful reader, go out there today and meet someone new…. Tell your story, listen to theirs.

I promise lots more coffee talk next time! 

But for today, I wanted to share a cultural phenomena that someone recently told me about: Couch Surfing.  You can find more information at www.couchsurfing.org.  I think it’s amazing!  In a world where we too often strive to isolate ourselves with automated systems, ipods at all times, and drive-thru service, it’s a welcome breath of fresh air to hear of another great organization actually bringing travelers and hosts together.  People meeting people, learning and growing.  Imagine, taking a two week— month— six month trip through Europe, Latin America, Australia, where ever and being welcomed into people’s homes, lives, cultures.  Sounds like the perfect way to travel… Carnival cruise line, keep your big white ship… I am totally excited to couch surf someday.  Unfortunately, this probably falls into the category of something I may not want to do alone… Gee… if only I had a best friend who was adventurous, smart, liked to travel, passionate about people and this beautiful world we live in, and lots of fun to be with…..  Wait a minute, I do!!!  I’ve got to get Caitlin in on this adventure… That’s right, Caitlin Pritchard!  You, Me, Couches….. sometime in the future.  :)  For now, check out the site for yourselves, maybe you’ll be bitten by the bug too!

Check it out!!!

This, and my heart beside,

This, and my heart, and all the fields,

And all the meadows wide.

Be sure you count, should I forget, —-

Some one the sum could tell, —-

This, and my heart, and all the bees

Which in the clover dwell.

–Emily Dickinson

I’m looking at the two suitcases on the floor of my bedroom.  Hard to believe, but my life fits snugly, very snugly at this point, into those two cases.  I guess it’s kind of strange, maybe if I were 18 or 19 it wouldn’t be so strange, but here I am, two weeks from turning 33, and living out of suitcases, hoping to get a phone call from a coffee farm in the mountains of Puerto Rico,  a yes to hard labor, intense work, and no pay check.  I never dreamed my life would take this path, but I feel so blessed to be here.  I’m happy because I’m listening to the passions that God has sewn within me.  I don’t know how this all fits in to my life as a whole, but for today, I honor those passions and am grateful for the chance to learn more about myself.

The more I think about it, maybe waiting isn’t always a bad thing.  I suppose some people never open up their lives to change and the possibility of new experiences.  Sometimes we get so comfortable and settled, by our own choice or not, that we just become stagnant.  One thing I’ve learned is that there are all types of people in the world, including people who like change and people who don’t.  I guess I’m one who likes change, well, because that’s one way to live new experiences, learn new things, and open our windows to a greater view of the world.  At least that’s what I think.  So, here I am embracing the waiting time, standing in the winding tunnel of life,  looking down and wondering what is beyond the next corner.  I can’t see it, that’s for sure, but choose to walk the path set before me, one step at a time.  Since I don’t have an areal view of that tunnel,  only what my eyes can see before me, I wait.  I wait and prepare turn that corner… again and again.